Had a long talk with a co-worker and friend that went from a general bitch session to a very positive discussion of what we could do to make the place better and our jobs more fulfilling. Who knows if anything will come from it, but I definitely want to try and stay on that positive note. Usually when I start to get frustrated with a place I just look elsewhere, the idea that I might actually be able to influence the corporate culture never really crossed my mind. I'm not entertaining any great delusions of grandeur here, just thinking that it may be worth the effort to see what can happen if I try to keep a positive attitude and actively promote a few ideas that I think would improve the place. Of course maintaining a positive attitude isn't particularly easy for me to do, I have a tendency to see the negative bits of a situation, and mock them sarcastically ad nauseum. So this may require a bit of focus and effort on my part. All the more so since some of the biggest obstacles are likely my direct peers. Despite a history of coming to blows in dog parks, streets, and other public venues, I am as non-confrontational at work as I can be. I just do not like situations that call for confrontation at work, there really should be no need for it. The reality though is that there is.
When I was taking To-Shin-Do, one of the core concepts was that it wasn't just a martial art for fighting, but a method for living. Much of what I learned should be applicable here; methods of conflict resolution and for achieving goals. I think it's time to start asserting and applying myself a bit more.
Truth is I'm just tired of feeling like a spectator in my own life. Really feeling the need to start taking a little more control. For the last couple of months I've been dieting and exercising which has been successful. Feeling a little better and hope to kind of clean up my image a bit. I'm looking way too grungy these days. I've passed the halfway mark on my schooling, less than six months until I finish. Not sure what happens then, but I hope it opens a few doors for me, or at least gives me the tools to pick the lock.
At the end of the week I start a week's vacation. Nominally it is to participate in the Lilies War, a local SCA event. I'm not really active in the SCA anymore though, but my wife will be camping at it and I will be in and out over the week. I actually hope to use the time to set up a recording studio to better accommodate my podcasting and some other projects I have in mind. I've been feeling the need for a dedicated space to work with some sound insulation. Space is at a premium here and I don't have an ideal solution, but I plan on making it work one way or another.