Men need not read this...

This is just some friendly advice for the ladies, not that any actually read my blog, but just in case. When you go shopping, do the world a big favor and actually pay a little attention to your surroundings. Most store aisles are just big enough for two shopping carts to fit side by side in them. So please, when you stop in the aisle to spend 5 minutes trying to make the life changing decision of which brand of creamed asparagus to buy, don't stop dead in the middle of the aisle and block the whole thing. This isn't a difficult concept. Just because you need to stop for a minute doesn't mean the whole aisle should be barricaded preventing any other shopper from getting past you. Pull to the side, move your cart, and yourself out of the way and let others continue on their quest for canned goods and steroid laden animal by-products. It just a common courtesy, you are not the most important person in the universe and you should not act like it. This also applies in the parking lot. There is plenty of room for a car to drive through the lot and people to move along the edges of the big open spaces called lanes. So don't walk right down the middle of the lane halting all traffic on either side, its simply not necessary. By the same token, when you must cross a lane, do it at a right angle (that means straight across in case you can't handle geometry missy), and not a long shallow diagonal that ensures that you inconvenience any passing cars for as long as possible. Keep to your space, yield the right away, and pay attention to what is going on around you.

Its kind of like driving a car, and believe me, I know how challenging that is for most of you, but the same basic rules apply here. I know there aren't turn signals or flashers on the shopping cart, but its not like you ever use them anyway.

Shopping is a painful experience for me because it feels like running a maze full of moving walls and random dead ends. I turn down an open passage only to find it blocked off as I near the end because someone wants to read the label on 17 different brands of crackers to see which one has the lowest carbs. I fully expect to find a minotaur roaming through the bakery section after navigating the maddening labrynth.

So please, do all of us a favor and learn to GET OUT OF THE WAY.