Give me a break

Here in the midwest an ice storm is brewing. Now this winter has been virtually non-existent, but winter storms are nothing new here in the midwest. As usual though, the news media has nothing else to talk about so they make this sound like the end of the world and treat us as like we were retarded monkeys unable to survive without their sage like advice. I have given up watching the news on TV, there is almost nothing of value in it. Sports being treated as something of great importance was bad enough, but now news shows also report on ever so important things such as "Reality" TV shows (another rant in the making). On top of that, every little minor thing must be blown totally out of proportion. I gave up on it a couple of years ago and get my news from the internet where I can be a little more selective about what "news" I want view. A story where they reported about a man barely escaping a fire with his life is what pushed me over the edge. They interviewed this miraculous survivor about his harrowing experience. He stated: "I was sitting in the living room and smelled smoke. I looked back at the kitchen and saw flames so I went out the front door and called the fire department from the neighbor's house." This was "barely escaping with his life?" Unfortunately my wife is still a slave to the media and watches the news everyday, so I am still sometimes subjected to it unless I want to leave the room or wear headphones, etc. Tonight I have heard all kinds of advice on how to survive this horrible natural catastrophe of a couple of inches of snow and some freezing rain. It starts with something sensible, though so obvious it shouldn't need said. "Stay home and do not go out unless you have to." Wow, thanks for that, I was planning on going out and driving around the city all night just for the hell of it, but since the fine folks at the news station told me that was a bad idea I guess I will just stay home. Then they moved on to even more asinine information. "If the power goes out, you shouldn't just take the food out of your refrigerator or freezer and set it outside to keep it cold because it could get contaminated." Really, guess I better go bring all those steaks in off the lawn. As if that revelation wasn't enough they went on to explain the hazards of trying to stay warm. Evidently you shouldn't build fires or use your BBQ grill inside to stay warm. Additionally if you light candles for light, you must make sure not to place them by anything flammable. Once more the news has saved my life, what would have happened if I had gone ahead and lit that bonfire on my dining room table, I shudder to think. It gets better though. They actually warned people to bundle up in their full winter clothing and coats, even if they were just going out to get the mail. And the reason, you could slip on the ice and knock yourself out and die of exposure.

My god, what have we become as a society when this is the kind of condescending prattle we accept from our "news" casts. Darwinism is being negated by these buffoonish talking heads. If you have to tell people not to light fires in their house or place their groceries out on their lawns then they should be removed from the gene pool. I think the news should be helping out. There should be segments telling people to stick forks in electrical sockets or use the hair dryer in the bathtub. If people actually watch these segments and try those things the average intelligence of the human race will go up. This would be much better than trying to make sure that incompetent morons manage to muddle through the day without offing themselves.

Perhaps its a combination of the declining attention span of the American people coupled with hour after hour of news programming each day. Not enough real news to fill all that time, better find something blather on about.

At any rate, I would urge anyone that is reading this to go look under your sink and see if you can find a bottle marked dangerous, poison, or displaying the little skull and crossbones. If you do drink it. If you can't find one just get some scissors or a sharp knife, hold with the point towards you, and run around in circles until you get dizzy and fall down.

Just my little contribution to society.