Honesty and Humor

Many of times I've heard it said that women like a man who is honest and has a sense of humor. My experiences during my 10 years of married life leads me to believe this is total bunk. A couple of nights ago my wife asked me why she should keep her hair long when it was so much trouble to maintain. I replied with both total honesty and a fair amount of wit. “Well honey, you should keep it long because you are so much older than me and insecure and you know that I really like long hair. Much less chance of me running off with a younger more attractive woman if you keep your nice long hair.” I smiled as I said it, even chuckled a bit at the end, but both the humor and the heartfelt honesty were lost on her. Fortunately we were going to a Christmas Party at her work and she didn't want me to arrive bruised and bleeding so I escaped immediate reprisal. Another time she had been fishing for compliments without a great deal of success. She finally she asked me outright why I didn't compliment her more, tell her what I found attractive about her. Once again my dry wit sparced into action like lighting starting a forest fire. “I would,” I said “but I just don't find needy women attractive.” Once more she totally failed to see the humor in my words. Luckily the floor in the living room isn't that uncomfortable to sleep on with a good comforter placed on it.

One more instance of her not appreciating my comedic talents or honest nature came to be while working on a webpage for her. I was looking for some pictures of her to use on the webpage but was having trouble finding any good pictures of her. Now my wife is always pestering me to take her picture, but I've never seen the point in going overboard, its not like I will forget what she looks like without photographic evidence. I remarked that I was having trouble finding good photos of her to post to the webpage. She asked quite indignantly “And whose fault is that?” I certainly didn't care for the dark tone the conversation was taking, so I thought this was the perfect time to lighten things up with a humorous quip. “Your's for not being more photogenic,” I replied. I don't remember much of what happened afterwards, but I can say with a high degree of certainty that the lost time was spent with her praising me for my sense of humor or unwaveringly honest nature.

So just remember, no matter how many times you hear it, honesty is not the best policy, especially when dealing with women. And a sense of humor is apparently only appreciated when it is self depricating. Go figure.